Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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