i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
