i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
