You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
