so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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