Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
