Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
