He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
