Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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