sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
