My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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