oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
