I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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