Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
