Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wear drunk well.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
