He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
