they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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