She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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