Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
