I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
