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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

  Fav 2 982 1274

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude are you serious?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I know you already have a pic on your phone

  Fav 95 2936 3503

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

  Fav 25 12430 1327

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.

  Fav 18 9992 1174

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

  Fav 17 6672 1373

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

  Fav 6 3061 1116

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.

  Fav 3 4213 1025

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• (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

  Fav 6 1307 676

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• (951): View more from California

  Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions

  Fav 4 1250 608

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.

  Fav 3 1441 581

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

  Fav 3 904 550

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• (650): View more from California

  You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever

  Fav 4 2256 698

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?

  Fav 2 360 719

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?

  Fav 2 565 570

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.

  Fav 2 221 120

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