Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
