It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
