i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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