time to smoke my breakfast
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
