idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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