I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
