what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
