Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
