My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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