booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
