Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
