these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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