we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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