honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
