The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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