Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
