I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
