I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
