I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
