After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
