I love black thongs
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
