It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
