I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
