We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
