she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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