how do flat chested girls get laid?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
