Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
