someone get that fucking seahorse.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
