i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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