i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You were trust falling into bushes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
