If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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