you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
