well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I love you.
Bad choice
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
