After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
