Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
