they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
