Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
