Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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