We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
