garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i don't like sucking hair
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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