I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
