It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Randomize