I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
